I am running around like a headless chook, frantically bouncing from one meltdown to the next. The countdown is on and I am completely useless to the Captain. My whole body is shaking, my heart beating irregularly and fast, that nauseated feeling intensifying in the pit of my stomach. Time is still ticking away at a rapid pace. All I can think about is I am embarking on a journey to the bottom of the deep deep ocean.
There is 2 hrs and 6 minutes till departure time, not that I am counting. I feel like I am counting down to my death, counting down to my families D-day. Will we really sail off the face of the planet, how can we be certain the world is round. The fear of the unknown is starting to consume me and I can’t think rationally. I guess I can never really think rationally, but today my mind is out of control. All our marina friends stop by to say their farewells, making the constant procession of tears streaming down my face explode into a display of watery fireworks. My sister tries to comfort me but I am beyond comforting. I have dug myself into a pit of fear and now there is no escape. I cling on to my sister burying my face in her chest.
The captain is busy doing the last jobs and preparing the boat for the big adventure. He calmly plodders along at his regular slow pace, not too stressed about leaving. How can some one be so relaxed when they are about to sail off the edge of the world?
For 4years we have worked towards this moment. For 4 years I have dreaded this day. The Captain had a dream. It all started 10 years ago, when he was out sailing with his Dad. He decided then and there that he would sail around the pacific in search of the perfect warm water barrels. For the Captain today marks the day that his dream will finally be in progress. I on the other hand fell in love with the crazy man. I have no intrest in boats, none what so ever and I get horrendously sea sick. Then two kids found there way into this dream. All of a sudden I was now looking at a future of raising kids while pursuing that elusive surf break. What the hell have I gotten myself into.
It’s 1 hour till departure, do I jump ship now? Do I serve the Captain with divorce papers? What do I do? I don’t want to drown in 1000’s of meters of water. Is the Captain mentally stable? Surely a sane person wouldn’t dream of doing something this crazy.